As you read every word of this article, you’ll discover the number one reason why most people fail at losing weight. In all the years of studying diets and trying to lose weight myself, one of the most asked questions was: “How do I start losing weight?” To illustrate the message I’m trying to convey, I’m going to reveal some rather personal details of my own life. I was physically and mentally abused for the better part of eighteen years as a child and teen. I was virtually abandoned and as a result homeless for a while.

I knew the hopelessness of not having food to eat and not knowing what the future held in store for me, but knowing that it can get worse if I let it. Ultimately everything turned out well for me but the journey was hell. Now, the point is that many people who are overweight were abused at some stage in their lives. Don’t feel too surprised by that statement. If you were bullied in school because you were a geek or small or overweight, then you were abused physically and/or mentally. It may not have been as harsh as the abuse I or millions of children endure everyday but it leaves a scar nevertheless.

The result is usually a lack of self esteem, focus and drive. People thought I was arrogant and self centered because I was constantly looking in mirrors when walking past it. It was because I could not see myself. My father told me I was crap and that I would never amount to anything. In the end you believe it and you lose yourself in an image that is not you. That may not be the exact same reason for everybody but it is for many overweight people who want to lose weight. What they see is not who they want to be. They look in the mirror and they do not see themselves. The see some undesirable version of somebody they do not want to be but they’re trapped inside there somewhere. That is one of the reasons why you have to start from the inside out.

Stop beating up on yourself and telling yourself that you are stupid and ugly and that you cannot do anything right. Stop seeing yourself through the eyes of others, because you will never be able to know what other people think. Start seeing yourself as the inherently good person or entity you were created to be. Who you are is in there somewhere and you know why and how you reached the physical state you’re in. If you can get that conscious and honest internal conversation with the real you going, then the healing can start.

I want to lose weight is not an action. It is only when you believe that you are losing weight because the real you know that you are taking the right actions to do so. Believe me, nothing is easy and nothing is for real until you make it so. So get to know the real you and the real motivation behind your actions first. Be honest with yourself and then get a plan.

Jac Visser at http://www.weightbites.com/ makes a living online and is paying it forward by helping people with weight loss problems through free advice and recommending relevant products and resources. He does this to realize a lifelong dream of helping underprivileged people especially children and the aged in Africa. For more information visit his site at the above link.

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